rêveur dim

A slow, lazy, silver breeze flows into the window and kisses the back of my neck. My arms are wrapped tightly around her, our feet move in seamless motions that were set in place before the world was born. The air dances with music, soft and sweet as they mingle to enter my mind. Some sort of percussion droning low, soft, and thick. Stringed instruments all singing together the song of our love: something too, that was engraved in my bones by God Himself. Our two bodies sway slowly and rhythmically in the night trance.

Feeling her in my arms is like nothing else- it makes life seem tolerable. As long as I have my love to return to, I am invincible. Nothing matters but holding her here, this night, the music thumping vacantly in our apartment overlooking some irrelevant city, or maybe a ghostly range of mountains. In her eyes is something ancient, but it is blooming into a new cycle. Only in her love can I understand the love that was given to me deep in my soul before the foundations of the Earth. I never understood redemption until I grasped her heart fully, and I never understood strength until I knew I would protect her at all costs. I never understood the love of my Father until I learned to love her.

So we dance, carefully and slowly as if the footwork is even what matters. Our lips touch to connect our souls, and we hold each other close as if the world of skin and bones could ever tear us apart. Finally, after waiting my entire life to find out what it means to truly invest in another human being, to truly let myself fall in love, I am here. The woman I fell in love with in my dreams as a boy has finally been sent from heaven above. Everything I have ever wasted somehow makes sense now. The gold sun rises, but I refuse to let my hold on her loosen.

I wake up, in my old bed. I stand on my feet, painfully realizing the difference between being encased in skin and dreaming. My heart sinks, and I stare at the ivory. I go on with my day as I usually do, alone, and full of angst, praying to God that the dream will someday come true.

Maybe...

The Kingdom, The Fire

The kingdom is coming. Soon. God is going to come down to the earth and reign like never before. The world will not be able to deny it any longer. Every heart will be left with nothing but awe, and we will be on our knees with our faces covered in fear of the Holy Spirit. The Almighty God will fall like a flame that will never be extinguished, and the fire will test each and every one of us. On that day, we will see what we are really made of. If the life you lived was truly a life that was led in love and reverence for God and others, the fire will pass. However, if you were a fake, wearing the weak name of “Christianity” around you to appear presentable to a host of skin and bone, you will be obliterated by the fire.

God is building now his people. He is gathering the Sons of Thunder to be his army, he is preparing us for battle. He is preparing us to defend The Kingdom of the Most High. He is gathering those who will call Him their own, who will live a life of purity and faith, who will keep their knees on the ground and their eyes to the sky. Stay humble, brothers and sisters, stay faithful, keep love in your heart. Heal the sick, help the broken, invite them to join the army God is building up. There are those of you who may doubt what God is doing because you have seen people at your churches live double lives, wearing their “religion” as a badge for their gain. Everything they have ever done is in vain. They will burn when the fires test their souls. They will be destroyed. Sincerity will fortify you, falsity will destroy you.

So prepare your heart for what is coming. If you put your ear to the ground you can feel something coming, I can feel it shaking in my bones. I know now that it is time to throw away every single thing that distracts me from the Almighty God. Even now, he is in my hands, writing this. God is coming, so take into account what your life is worth. Cast aside material connections, and do not fool yourself into thinking you have none. When you are captivated by the awe of God’s glory when He comes, you want to know that you had been following Him all along. I cannot tell you, brothers, everything that will happen. I can however say that you are in for an epic battle. The Sons of Thunder will rise from the ashes of everything conventional religion and man’s wishes have poured out onto Christ’s bride, and God will use us to destroy the enemy.

Do not ever question that this is a war. The enemy we face is powerful. Just look around you, look even at yourself! Satan has his filthy hands on everything in this world. Shake him off, and lash out at him. He has wreaked destruction on the world, it is time to take it back. Bit by bit, this world is not his, it belongs to the Holy and Almighty God. You know what sin is. Every thought that enters your head that leads to sin comes directly from the enemy. You have authority through Jesus Christ to resist the enemy on every front. You will fail, but you must try! Thanks be to God that Jesus has already won every battle we fight with the enemy.

Sons of Thunder, rise. We are the army of the Kingdom of the most Holy and Almighty God. Act accordingly. Live your life in complete humility and servitude to everyone, even your enemies (love will overcome evil). Keep your knees on the ground and your eyes to the sky. Stay strong, and find your strength in God. Live sincerely, regardless of whatever anyone tells you, keep your eyes ahead. Keep your heart pure, have no motive but love in all that you do. When the day comes, and your faith is tested by fire, you should know that without compromise, you lived your life for Almighty God. Then, you will stand the test and not be cast aside with the rest of them. We have waited all this time. Nothing matters but this. Prepare for war. Prepare for the kingdom.

And the gates of Hell won’t stand against it.

Love, etc. etc.

As a child, I remember always being in absolute awe of the fact that God could see what everyone on Earth is doing, comprehending it, interacting with us and all those basic concepts that fall under the term “omnipotence”. I constantly thought about it. I went about my simple little second grader routines, and I was in constant awe of God. I would say little prayers throughout the day just to thank Him for being there. I truly worshiped Him, and I felt close to Him. I was excited just to get to heaven so I could just praise God constantly. I had no complex theologies in my mind, I was not calloused by repetitive messages. I had a simple life, and a simple mind, and the way I saw it, God loved me, and no matter what, I would always have that, so nothing could ever get me down. Try to find a picture of me as a little kid where I don’t have a huge smile on my face.

Now I have been in church so long, I mostly dismiss statements about the love and power of God. Most of these little sayings like “God is love” “His grace is enough” are so true, but for whatever reason, I have thrown them out of my vocabulary. I mean, I know it is cliché to say, but the love of God is all I need. It’s so sad to me that when I hear that, I shrug it off. But it means so much. It is something that I am learning to hold very dearly to my heart. I could go on for pages about all that God has done for me, for everyone, but for the most part, we all have that knowledge. I don’t know what has happened, but we take for granted the love of our Father. He is always watching us. Just think about that for a moment. God watches over you.

One day, maybe I will be there. I will be at that place in my life where I think I will have everything I need on this Earth. I will be lying there with my wife some lazy Saturday morning, holding her, sharing my soul with her, or maybe just listening to her talk about her week. That is how I see true happiness. In that time, I will know that God gave me that moment as a gift. But what if I am someday drafted into some war I don’t want to fight, or I am being persecuted, or end up homeless? In that time, will I know God’s love is enough? I have faith that I will. Because the thing is, no matter what, whether I am in the ideal place in my life, or I am in exactly the place I don’t want to be, God’s love will give me a deep joy that will lift me up like it did when I was a child. That is what I want, a childish love for God. I know reading this may seem like a waste of time, and you will dismiss it because it sounds like I am just preaching to you, but just sit and think for a moment about how your Father loves you, and that He will hold you soul close to His, no matter what.

“At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.’” -Luke 10:21